How to Dance with the Holy Spirit
“Christ plays in ten thousand places, lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his.”
-Gerard Manley Hopkins, SJ
When I was a little girl, I somehow inherited a beautiful, sky-blue taffeta dress. It was poofy in the skirt with organza underneath. The dress was a bit big on me. I wore it with my scuffed, black patent leather Mary Janes. I’d put on this glorious dress and twirl. Twirling on the tile floor or the backyard cement patio magnified the tappity sound of my shoes, much to my delight. It was all in my head (and heart). And I twirled as if nothing else existed or mattered. In my 5-year-old inner world, I was a beautiful and graceful dancer. I surrendered to the moment, free and exhilarated. And it didn’t matter that the dress wasn’t new or that it was two sizes too big with a stain on the sleeve.
Take a minute and think back to a time, maybe in your early years, when you felt the most free, without the pressure or expectation that you had to “do” in order to “be.” Did you laugh and giggle with abandon at an inchworm? Were you holding the hand of your bestie as you ran to the sandbox to dig, make holes, and fill them in again? Were you amused by blowing bubbles? Did you twirl?
When I imagine wearing my dancing dress, and the simple joy of turning in circles, I can’t help but wonder at my inner freedom and trust in the world. Could it be anything like the breathtaking jubilance of the Holy Spirit? In the life of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit spreads the love of God and of Christ. As I’ve grown older, I hope I've allowed some space within me for the Spirit to dwell, to move, to twirl and to be.
Mystery of the Trinity
The following reflection may take some openness and willingness for us to think about the Trinity in a different or new way. No discussion on the Trinity is final or definitive. All is mystery, and yet I’m attempting to define a piece of this mystery so that maybe we can begin to once again stand in awe at its real yet undefinable existence.
It might be surprising to hear that the Trinity has everything to do with you and me. We may not often think of the Trinity, but in its mystery lies the core of our very beings. You see, even before we were born, we were in God’s mind. God knew us then and knows us now. God tells the Prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you…” (Jer 1:5). Father Henri Nouwen (1932-1996), Dutch Catholic priest and prolific spiritual author, taught the fundamental truth that we are each beloved children of God, and that we share this with Christ who is God’s beloved son. Our spirit is free and we are beloved. We are connected to one another in this truth. We are connected to our Creator and ultimately to the Trinity. We are part of the encounter of God the Father (Mother), God the Son, and God the Spirit in the constant flow of God’s Being in the Trinity. There is a word from ancient Greek theater, perichoresis, to describe the Trinity as a circular “dance.”* This circle dance encompasses relationship, encounter, communion, movement, and flow: all words that attempt to describe the mysterious interaction of the Trinity and our connection with it. The Trinity is not static, but alive and moving.
The Trinity can be likened to a mobile that gently flows, bounces and turns with the flow of air. Balanced, in motion and variable, the Trinity is never frozen, never defined, never bound or unyielding.
Franciscan priest,speaker and author Richard Rohr writes, “The Trinity reveals God more as a verb than a noun, but we rarely speak about God that way . . . God is three ‘relations,’ which itself is mind-boggling for most believers. Yet that clarification opens up an honest notion of God as Mystery who can never be fully comprehended with our rational minds. God is dynamic . . . .”
I twirled in the circle dance of the Trinity when I was 5. I was comfortable with mystery, with not knowing. “Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s knowledge. Even all the hairs of your head are counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (NRSV Matthew 10:26-33) I am loved beyond comprehension by a God who created me and knows me better than I do. My worth lies in this mystery. In my blue dancing dress, I knew this truth. When I was 5, I knew it. I embraced it and I twirled. I couldn’t help it – I had to twirl.
I believe there has been a time when we have all felt at home in the mystery of God. For many of us, we were children and able to imagine truths that today seem beyond our reach.
Embracing the Holy Spirit
Yet, we outgrow this openness to mystery. For me, my inner freedom slowly began to shrink and lose its abandon. My twirling turned to perfect scores and model behavior in school. I became hesitant to appear that I needed help in any way, cautioned against being vulnerable, at risk of doing it wrong, whatever “it” was. I became guarded and careful. Mrs. Barnes, my fourth-grade teacher, sat down with me during recess after our introduction to fractions, as I sat bawling because I didn’t get it in the first lesson. How could I fail to understand? And I couldn’t hide the fact that I needed help. My vulnerability was surrounded by the shame of exposing my imperfections (shout out to Brené Brown). It always came so easily to me, yet there I was wiping my nose, unable to speak because this new concept evaded me. With compassionate reassurance, Mrs. Barnes sat with me, allowed me to express my feelings all the while letting me know that it was okay not to know just yet and it was okay to make a mistake. At the time, I could not process what she said. Now, looking back, I realize she was a voice of love and acceptance, encouraging me to take it easy on myself and to just breathe!
Fast forward 25 years to my son in kindergarten, unable to perform a cut and paste task the way he thought he should, mad and frustrated. A volunteer in Mrs. Denniston’s classroom that day, I watched him from across the room, resisting the urge to rescue and wondering if Mrs. D would intervene. I asked the thirty-year veteran teacher, “Is that ok?” She smiled gently and explained that it’s okay with her – okay that he’s frustrated and okay that he’s upset – okay that he’s struggling a bit. Without drawing attention to him, she walked over and offered him encouragement, a little guidance, and again walked away. She allowed him to process and learn at his own pace. I could only marvel at the space given to him to learn.
In their own ways and maybe without their awareness, these wonderful teachers cooperated with the movement of the Spirit in the flow of the Trinity by giving students the room to learn and the freedom to grow without fear of ridicule or abandonment. In so doing, they recognized we are all connected, all interacting in life and love together.
If only today I could freely stay in the Trinity. If only I could more often just “be” and allow others to do the same. Maybe if I put on my dancing dress more often, I could enjoy the turning and dizzy abandon, the falling and tripping that accompanies the dance. No fear, no hesitation, just the exhilaration of twirling. If only I could live simply to be, to exist, to breathe, to giggle, all for the sake of living.
Come, Holy Spirit!
In September 2021, Michael Sean Winters, a consummate writer and journalist for National Catholic Reporter, wrote an article considering the Holy Spirit and whether or not certain leaders in the Church feared giving Her full reign. He focused on the Synod on Synodality,** a time for the Church as a whole to “journey together” and ask the Holy Spirit where She wants us to go and in what ways we can grow. It requires listening, truly hearing the voices of the laity (both women and men) and the marginalized members of the Church that include sexual abuse survivors, those divorced, LGBTQ Catholics, the poor, those who have left and those who are on the verge of leaving. He emphasized our need to trust and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our discernment as we listen to one another in order to give space for the Holy Spirit to move. Quoting the preparatory document on Synodality issued by the Vatican, he writes, “[W]hat steps does the Spirit invite us to take in order to grow as a synodal Church? Addressing this question together requires listening to the Holy Spirit, who like the wind ‘blows where it wills; you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes’ (John 3:8) . . .” (bold emphasis my own). In other words, we do not know and we cannot predict the will of the Spirit of God.
This is worth repeating. No one can know all that the Holy Spirit has in store for us. Can we live in that uncertainty? Or, better yet, can we dance within the mystery? We can because we believe in a loving and merciful God who wants nothing more than for each one of us to be a part of the loving flow of the Trinity. Whether or not you fully grasp this reality, sit with it and allow the Spirit to help you understand.
Can the Holy Spirit, within the circle dance of the Trinity, make us uncomfortable? You bet. Because, you see, we don’t have it all figured out. Nothing is “settled,” as Winters points out in his article. There is so much to learn and we are called to a conversion that is never-ending in this lifetime. And, whether or not we are Catholic, we can pause and reflect on to what extent we allow the Spirit to move and transform our own lives.
And we can twirl. We should twirl, without knowing the particulars. In the fourth grade, I too felt that I should know and understand fractions, as if I should have been born with all knowledge. Now that I’m well beyond grade school age, this truth is no less real. Even today, as I grow in my realization that even those whom we don’t feel deserve open arms or forgiveness or the time of day, do deserve it simply because they are beloved children of God. Henri Nouwen knew this truth well.
In the words of Catherine LaCugna (1952-1997), a scholar and professor who wrote the masterful work, God for Us: The Trinity and Christian Life: “We were created for the purpose of glorifying God by living in right relationship as Jesus Christ did, by becoming holy through the power of the Spirit of God, by existing as persons in communion with God and every other creature.” Even if you’ve never heard of Henri Nouwen or Catherine LaCugna, it’s the same truth for you as it is for me. So, as beloved children of God together we can know, at the very least, that we are connected in the flow of the Trinity. It truly is all about love.
Call to Action: In the Comments below, share any insight you’ve gained from this post or questions you may have. In what ways has the Holy Spirit guided you?
Blog Notes:
*In the third and fourth centuries, the Cappadocian Fathers of Eastern Turkey (Gregory of Nyssa, Basil of Caesarea, and Gregory of Nanzianzus) were the first to use the term from Greek theater, perichoresis, to define the Trinity as a circle dance.
**Pope Francis orchestrated the Synod on Synodality, or the synodal path, to bring our Church into the present moment where the Holy Spirit leads us on. If you would like to learn more, please visit www.synod.va or your own diocesan website.
Fr. Henri Nouwen on Belovedness:
Songs for Contemplation: “I Want to Break Free” by Queen because it declares a need from our heart of hearts to trust in the power of love and the truth of our belovedness.
