Considering This Epidemic of Loneliness
It’s easy to consider experiences of loneliness, disconnection and isolation this time of year. Dreary, sunless days keep us inside and apart from others. I admit that there have been times in my life when I have experienced loneliness and disconnection.
Dr. Vivek Murthy, United States Surgeon General, said in a recent interview that 1 in 2 people regularly feel lonely, isolated and disconnected. In fact, young people experience this now more often than the elderly. It’s a public health crisis that has been growing since before COVID hit. According to Dr. Murthy’s findings, loneliness, isolation and social disconnection can increase the risk of heart disease by 29%, stroke by 32%, dementia in older adults by 50% and premature death by as much as 60%. These numbers astound me.
So used to engaging on social media, many people find it puzzling or difficult to connect with the people they spend time with in-person every day. Hence, I often see groups sitting together, all on their phones. Or, sadly, I see families at a restaurant doing the same thing. And if we’re honest, even adults may spend more time interacting online than face-to-face. Besides the connections we try to find on social media that have often left us seeking more and more likes, loves and shares, we have neglected real, personal connections with the people right in front of us. What are we paying attention to? Often I find myself checking my phone’s notifications in moments of silence or waiting. Sometimes, I’ve inadvertently checked my phone in the middle of a conversation with a loved one. When the person we are talking to is the one glancing at his phone, we notice. While I long to be seen by others, I also need to work on seeing others without distraction and with full presence.
This Lent, (beginning Feb. 14th) I’ve decided to turn off my notifications, or even delete a few apps and take a break. I hope to re-train my mind to attend to one person or one task for longer periods of time, giving the gift of my attention as an act of love. I might turn off my device completely, except for certain amounts of time. I hope to reach out to those in my midst who need some time, a good conversation, or to just share a laugh. Little acts of presence, of reaching out to someone I haven’t spoken to in a while, smiling at a stranger, extending a hand in service, asking someone for help or even just appreciating the silence could bring me closer to connection. Who’s in?
